Parenting, aka- The Perfect Puzzle

Recently I was talking to my friend who was struggling with her sons new habit. Screaming at the top of his lungs. What do I do, she asked me? So I suggested squirting him with a water bottle every time he did it. “You mean, like a dog?!?!” We both giggled, as if to concur, we both were completely perplexed. How many times does this happen? Our sweet and charming little children pick up mannerisms, attitudes and behaviors that leave us completely puzzled. On a daily basis I spend about 10-13 minutes wishing that children came with an owners manual. I really do not know how people parented before the Internet. In the past 3 days I have googled, “toddler sleep regression”, “child fearing monster in the toilet”, and my favorite, “How to explain a vagina to a 2 year old.” 

Because Samantha is my first child I am constantly being faced with the wretched realization that I have no idea what the hell I am doing. Every time she talks back, disobeys or challenges me, I have to assess the situation. “Quick, Cat! Whatchu gonna do? Don’t show fear, she smells it.” So I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and think about what Super Nanny would do. Too bad I don’t have a British accent. That woman could discipline a tadpole and it would listen. 

Nevertheless, I do read the parenting books. If you came to my house and glanced at my bookshelf you would think you were at a pediatric therapists office. The books that say consistency is key. The advice that says “let the natural consequence be the punishment.” Or then you get the opposing guidance, “When they rebel, they really just need your love. Grab them and hug them generously.” Is it really any wonder why we sit here on our couches totally confused with all the parenting wisdom we are being hurled? Do I need to ignore Samantha’s tantrum or chase her down the hall for cuddles? 

It is times like these where I am thankful that I have my mother. My mom is a teacher and spent time in child development classrooms learning about behavior, discipline and adolescence. I am often calling her saying, “I did A. B. and C. but its not working, what now?” or “Samantha keeps licking our arms. Is this normal?” After she laughs at all my questions she acknowledges my worries and then gives me some sort of encouragement that goes along the lines of, “You’ll be okay.” I secretly think she loves that I am now feeling all the despair and confusion that I gave her when I was younger. Touché, Grandma! 

Now, let me be clear. I am writing this because 1) I am beginning to realize (and appreciate) that we are ALL baffled on this parenthood puzzle. 2) It needs to be talked about more often. Why are we performing like we have all our ducks in a row? And 3) I need some humility and humor to get me through the day. I am on my 6th Oreo and it is barely 11am. 

Regardless of how hard children can be, I love being a Mom. I love that she jumps on the couch yelling, “Mom, lets cuddle!” Or when she mimics what I do in order to be just like me. I admire my daughters’ humor, her joy, and the way she can make a stranger smile. I love that she makes me want to be a better Mother, and I hope that I can be that, however, I know that she’ll forgive me if I don’t have it all figured out. She’ll love me regardless. This I know. 

Liberty Of The Seas Cruise- Honduras, Mexico, Belize

We decided after repatriating that we needed a good long relaxing vacation to unwind from all the stresses of an international move. We thought a cruise was the perfect way to make that happen, and we also wanted to see some more of North America. We left Samantha at Grandma and Grandpa Cards house and road tripped to Texas to catch our Royal Caribbean Cruise ship- The Liberty of the Seas. We both hadn't been on a cruise since about 2012 so we were pretty excited to reacquaint ourselves with the endless laziness and gluttonous food choices. Have you ever road tripped halfway across America? Texas. is. freaking. big. ya'll. We decided to take a day off of driving and visit the water park "Schlitterbahn." I grew up going to Raging Waters so I was a bit unimpressed but it was really interesting that they were using fresh river water. It was a cool (and cold) experience. 

The day we boarded in Galveston Texas! We were very excited to peruse the amenities and explore the ship. We checked in and got ready to spend a long time...doing nothing. Just us and the open sea...And about 3,000 other cruisers. 

The ship was huge and had a little mall/shopping/dining area right in the middle of the ship. There was even a Ben & Jerrys' and Johnny Rockets on board! 

This is where we did a majority of our dining. The dining hall was very impressive with huge chandeliers. We had some great food while on the cruise. Lobster, shrimp, steak, fish, and even sushi. I was glad I packed my fat pants, for sure. 

On "cruising days" we spent the hours sitting by the pool, taking naps, reading, swimming, going down water slides, and Peyton took a stab at the Flowrider. It was an exhausting vacation, for sure ;) They even had an ice skating rink on ship! That was a first. Skating on the sea. 

Our first embarkment was the location of Roatan, Hondouras. While there we decided to book a  zip-line activity. It was fun, and of course we got put with the other Mormons. We sure know how to spot one another! After that we were taken to a place to swim and relax and enjoy the beach. This was actually one of my least favorite beaches because the shore was just packed with tourists. 

Everyone who goes on a cruise talks about the endless food options. At every meal they bring you a menu and you can pick out a starter, main, and dessert. Sometimes (like lobster/crab night) you order multiple plates. We were so happy that our table mates had the same dedication to food that we did. There was no shame at that dining table. We thoroughly enjoyed discussing all the choices. 

The next day we disembarked in Belize. We missed (my minutes) our Lamani tour of the pyramids  but to make up for our disappointment they offered us a free tour of another historical site, the Altun-Ha pyramids. We were a bit bummed because we wanted to see the sites that is talked about in the Book of Mormon, but we'll just have to go back! They were still pretty impressive! 

Our last port of call was Cozumel, Mexico. This was actually my favorite stop, it did not disappoint. We went to a great resort and just decided to vege out on this last stop. The weather was perfect and the chicken nachos hit the spot. (Like we were hungry after all that cruise food). 

The last 2 days were spent on the open sea and Peyton braved the rock climbing wall (at an impressive speed). We also caught the ice skating show (phenomenal) and the show Saturday Night Fever. The entertainment on the ship was really fun, they always have something to do! We went to a few activities like "pub quiz" and "Name that Tune". If you are scared of being bored on a cruise, don't be. They jam pack those days with lots of fun things to do. 

Our dinner group/seat mates were awesome and we enjoyed getting to know all of them. They were from Texas, Arizona, and Kansas City. Our servers were very attentive and fun, also. They didn't get us too hard of a time at ordering multiple dinner plates and desert. 

Ali and Zac were our ship besties. We got along great and enjoyed every dinner with them. They are both EMTs and they amazed us with all their horror stories of scenes they have dealt with. We liked to pull pranks on each other and order each other room service and prank call one another. It was fun. We want them to come out and visit us! 

(excuse Peytons lazy eye. Poor guy must be tired from his long vacation.) 

After two long weeks we were ready to get back to our little toddler. We missed her so much, but we were rejuvenated and refreshed from our lazy time at sea. It was a fun vacation. 

THE Christmas Card Photo

The holiday season is creeping up and in a few weeks our mailboxes will be cluttered with Christmas cards. When I was a little girl I would study and examine all of the Christmas cards we received. I took note of all the khaki, the smiles on the beach, and the family vacation pictures from Yosemite.  I loved seeing how our family and friends have grown each year. And then there is always the person that sends a two-page (front and back) report on their whole year. Sammy went to the vet. Max now enjoys peas! Or, how about…the person that sends a heartfelt and lovely card wishing you the merriest holiday, with no picture in sight? Gasp! THE HORROR. Any way you do it, I love Christmas card season.

So, last year we had a one year old, (our first child) and I decided it was the perfect time to send out our very first Christmas card. Little did I know how much stress this was going to induce. After picking out the picture-perfect outfit, doing my nails and deciding on the perfect spot, we were ready. I had a pal take our picture with our DSLR camera and chose a touristy spot in downtown Shanghai. Of course it was a Saturday and so there were one million and two people at our location, which created quite a problem. We had to politely ask people to move for a second, or go somewhere completely secluded. My daughter was very in cooperative that day. Did I mention she was one years old? And lo and behold, when we started taking pictures I decided, I didn’t like my outfit at all. Why had I chosen this? My advice to you and you and you: Don’t look in the screen on the back of the camera during the session. Just don’t. We had to peruse Pinterest for The. Perfect. Pose. And then we had to execute it…naturally. I remember telling my husband, “Put your hand here, look up, stand up straight, act like you are having fun, and lower your eyelids a tinge, No. Too much. Come on, don’t make it look forced.” I think my husband said a few times that day, “I am never doing this again.” So after about an hour of this forceful loveliness, we called it quits and decided there’d have to be one that would work.

And it did. It wasn’t the best picture. But it was acceptable. $100 and 235 layout samples later, we shipped those puppies out.

So this year, after much consideration...I decided to be real with my family and friends. There was laughter and milestones, but there were also tears and tribulations. The Buhler’s’ experienced some exotic voyages, but we also made trips to the Emergency room. My daughter can speak in complete sentences but she also tells me no on a daily basis. So, here’s to you, family and friends. Have a genuine, lovely, authentic Christmas and Hanukah.

My Moms Award Winning Snickerdoodles

If you are looking for the perfect snickerdoodle recipe this is it. Seriously- they are dang delicious- with the perfect chewy texture. My mom has been known for this recipe since as long as I can remember. She used to make them for road trips, potlucks, and everyone requested them at church activities. So here you have it- thank me later. And don't make these without a purpose, or you will eat ALL. OF. THEM.

Snickerdoodles-

1 cup shortening (Don't even think about doing it, just do it).
1 1/2 cup sugar
2 eggs
2 3/4 cup sifted flour (Measure it AFTER sifting)
2 tsp. cream of tartar
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt

Topping:
2 Tbsp. sugar
2 tsp. Cinnamon

Cream together shortening, sugar, eggs.
Sift together flour, cream of tartar, baking soda and Salt
Add to the wet ingredients.
Only blend until just mixed.
Shape into balls and roll in cinnamon + sugar mixture.
Bake at 350 degrees until the tops start to crack
Take out and leave on cookie sheet for 3-5 minutes before removing for cooling.

Stay at Home Mom Shame

My husband recently went to a few work dinners with colleagues. You know, the kind that involves a certain level of schmoozing with vendors and a good amount of red meat. He also has the opportunity to meet up with work friends during his workday lunches.

Coming home from one particular work dinner, I just couldn't stand it anymore.  I hadn't worn a bra all day and I wasn't able to shower until 3pm. Not by choice. Samantha was sick, I was sick, the house was a mess (to say the least), laundry was needed and our dishes were overflowing out of the sink.  I ended up spending the day deep cleaning bathrooms and trying to keep my toddler entertained while fighting off the urge to turn on Elmo for her.

HUSBAND: "We went to Clifton's in Downtown LA...They are known for their fried chicken, but I had pork, it was good. The restaurant has a really cool ambiance. Definitely an after-work bar atmosphere."
ME: "So..what was it like?"
HUSBAND: "What was what like?"
ME: "Having an uninterrupted dinner? Describe the meat for me. Did it melt in your mouth? Did you get a side? What music were they playing? Did you get to have a discussion about the weather? The election? Did you get to eat your meal without someone crawling into your lap and hounding you for another cup of juice, a graham cracker, a cookie, a story, a show, a tissue, a.....I NEED A BREAK!!!!"

Whoa. Catherine has officially lost all her marbles. Seriously. They shot out everywhere and her poor husband didn't even get a chance to run for cover.

Peyton calmly approached the scene of the massacre..."well why didn't you say so? I would love to watch Samantha for you when I come home from work. Go get a pedicure. Go to the store alone. Go drive-true McDonalds and get 3 sugar cookies and a diet coke. Do. It." It was at this time that I truly knew this man loved me (and my addiction to McDonalds sugar cookies. Seriously, have you had them?)

I stepped back and realized that I have been overloading my plate with numerous (and UNNECESSARY errands) like Lowes (for spray paint!) and Joanns (for unneeded craft projects). Don't even get me started on all the countless trips to HomeGoods to try and find The. Perfect. Bathroom. Rug. (helpful side note- It doesn't exist.)

So I took up him on the offer. I mean...of course I did. I went to Ralphs. I took my dang sweet time perusing the dairy aisle. Wow, whats this new yogurt? Ohhhh, Halloween candy. You know, all the things that you don't get to look at when your toddler is running away from you and spilling juice in aisle 10?

It was glorious. I got everything on my list, and a candy bar at check out because I didn't have to share it with a two year old on my ride home. I was able to find out that they do indeed have Israeli Cous Cous (aisle 5) and the frozen fruit for smoothies is actually next to the frozen pizza, NOT the frozen vegetables, like you would've thought.

I came to the realization that I need to do this more often. I need to take a freaking break. I have come to understand that my brain becomes to mush after 5pm. Somewhere in between incentives of chocolate chips for potty training and trying to reason with someone wearing a Rapunzel dress, bad things happen to a good person.

So now, I vow to take a break. Will you?
Take a breather. Step back from the messy house and walk (or run) to the nearest mall without feeling SHAMEFUL for being honest with yourself for needing some quiet time.

I can't do it all. I can't even do half of it. But one day I will. Not today. But someday. Today I will take a mommy time-out, go get a $1 Diet Coke, and I will be a better person when I come back to Rapunzel. Join me on this adventure. Say it with me, I will not be ASHAMED of my needs for a break!

 Okay, thats enough. Peyton is home and I am heading to the library so I can sit uninterrupted for 30 minutes and read a book I can't put down. Peace Out.

 Huge Shout out and fist bumps to the husbands (especially mine) who let us have 2 seconds to ourselves and encourage us to take a break. These men have learned the true value of "happy wife, happy life," and I adore them for it.

Epidural with a Side of Prozac

Two and a half years ago I was in the hospital gazing down at my newborn and I couldn’t stop the tears. The tears signified helplessness, confusion and anxiety. I knew the cries were from postpartum depression. This wasn’t the tender and compassionate moment I was imagining. I so desperately wanted to feel thrilled, but my hormones were raging and my emotions were kicked off balance. At the time, I didn’t know how to deal with the feelings so I masked it up with makeup and went on my way. When I got home the anxiety consumed me and I often had moments of guilt and sorrow.

My sweet Husband held me tight while burping our babe and taking over diaper duty. The dark memories of those first few days are happy because he helped me adjust and survive. You know what else helped me survive? Taking away the pressure of being the Mom that can flawlessly handle a newborn all while cooking and cleaning in high heels. If we are being completely honest here, there were hours when I didn’t get out of my pajamas. Days where I didn’t shower until 4pm. Whole weeks where I didn’t make one decent meal.  Once I took that pressure off myself I was better able to function. It was in these minutes where I took time to cherish my newborn, to sing to her, kiss her, snuggle her, bond with her, and not worry about anything else. It was in those moments where I figured out what was important, what I needed to do, and how strong I was.

Little by little as I took care of myself by lowering the artificial theories of motherhood, I was uncovering my true happiness. I felt happy just me with my baby, in my yoga pants, and undone hair. Little by little I was able to feel more comfortable in my new calling and I felt more confident in my role. I learned how to ask for help, relinquish control, and let go of the expectations of what the world defines as the "perfect mother." (By the way, there is no perfect mother. Just women who are loving their children, perfectly.) 

And that is why the only advice I give to new moms is to not get out the vacuum, don’t pick up a spatula and put down the blow dryer. Enjoy these moments; take a break from cooking and cleaning, take care of yourself. Trust me…the dishes and the laundry can wait. Your happiness can’t. 

DIY- Drinking Straw Starburst

We have slowly been making our house a home since moving back to America. We have installed granite, painted our little hearts out, and have bought a few pieces of furniture. I was a little overwhelmed with moving home because I had so many ideas, and I didn't know where to put them.

In the early stages of decorating my bathroom was turning into a nautical, farmhouse, contemporary powder room. It was a disaster! I am slowly starting to understand my style, and executing it somewhat decently. I felt like once the paint dried I was ready to throw stuff on the walls. I was armed with Pinterest and ready to begin!

Disclaimer: everyone (almost) everyone that knows me, knows that I am not a crafter. In Shanghai, we had weekly craft nights and I literally only went for the girl talk and treats. I was keeping the crafters company! So when I saw this tutorial for a starburst I reviewed the steps and thought, huh, even I could do this. Easy Peasy. And...I am proud to admit, I WAS RIGHT! It was easy! I can craft! I will become the next Martha Stewart! Okay okay, lets not get ahead of ourselves. But here it is---how to make a starburst out of straws- 

Supplies- 

• A cardboard ring- I made mine from just tracing a few bowls. Use whatever you want, just make it round. Don't worry, you are going to cover it. 
• A hot glue gun 
• Drinking straws- I used about 200 for this project, but it depends how big your ring is. I got mine from the dollar store. Side note: I wish I would've found straws that did not have the bend but whatever.
• Spray Paint- I used half of a silver metallic spray paint and half a gold spray paint. Color is up to you!

Literally, that is it.

Okay, first things first. 

1. Cut out your cardboard ring 

2.Glue them in a circular pattern with little space in between. Make sure that you turn the circle every so often so its easier to see where the end of the circle is. And make sure you try and glue the end right up against the end of the cardboard line. 

(Do you like my lack of a kitchen backsplash? We're working on it.) 

(First layer- done!)

3.After you’ve got one layer glued, do another to fill in the gaps. Don't worry about perfect spacing because  you are going to do another layer and fill everything in. Go easy on the glue and try not to get it on the front of the straws. Trust me, this can happen. 

(You can, and WILL burn your finger at least two times while doing this. 

Don't say I didn't warn you.) 

4. Glue glue glue, fill, fill fill. After you have done the first and second layer with one length, add more that are at different and smaller lengths to give it some dimension. 

5. After I had put them all on I wasn't feeling it. It just looked too circular. So then, I trimmed a couple of the longer straws to break up the length and not make it different on the edges. Ahhhh.. that is better. 

6. Now you are ready to spray paint. I first stated with metallic silver. It was nice, but my bedroom was beige and I wanted it to be more brown so then I added a top (not filled in) layer of gold. I like the way it gives some definition between silver/gold and not one straight color. 

I decided to put it above my bed, because it just needed something.  To stress how much of a NOT-so-crafty person I am...when my Husband came home I said "Honey, look at what I made today! Out of STRAWS!" He said, "No you didn't...but...its...crafty." Yes, Husband. This I know. 

Chalk Paint Facelift

I love Pinterest. I love the ideas it gives me (half of which I will never do), I love the recipes I find, the products I discover and the styles I fall in love with. I recently have been seeing a lot of pins regarding chalk paint. What is chalk paint, you ask? Let me fill you in. Its the greatest fad and craze in the up-cycle world. It is a hassle free formula where you don't have to sand or prime and the dry time is quick! Anything that takes less time and sweat? Sign me up! The first guinea pig project I had was a mirror that my parents were throwing out. They just redid their bathroom (lucky duckies) and had purchased a new one. I wanted to hang this gem in our family room to give some brightness to the space. 

That detail was so fun and I almost wanted to leave it white because its super cute, but we just painted our interior a light grey (pictures to come) and I thought it would be a good contrast to have a darker color mirror.

Remember, the chalk paint is so hassle-free that you don't  have to sand but I decided to anyways. I wanted to get rid of any excess buildup of dust or dirt. No, my parents aren't that dirty, but the mirror was in their bathroom for 30 years so I decided to just give it a light exfoliation.

Smile for a sanding selfie!

Now heres the fun part. When I started researching chalk paint I discovered that there are a few companies that produce it but you have to find it at a local distributor and the prices were INSANE. Like, $35 for a small can. This paint is genius and amazing because theres no prep hassle but you are paying for that ease. I was outraged because these are DIY projects. If I wanted to spend a lot of money, I would be buying new furniture not a can of paint and labor over it. Oh dear, this has turned into a #DIYrant . Sorry, enough of that. I decided to find cheaper alternatives and alas! I found it. Homemade chalk paint recipes. After watching about 532 youtube videos I was ready! This formula calls for any latex paint but bloggers suggested buying an 8 oz. sample can of paint from Lowes. This was a great idea and it actually was enough to finish 3 projects with. The other great thing about chalk paint (are you adding these all up) is that you don't have to use that much. A little chalk paint goes a long way. This recipe also calls for a thing called calcium carbonate. Where would you find such a thing?! I know, I asked the same thing. I realized you can find it at some pharmacies but I found it online from a private distributor.
  Calcium Carbonate powder here you can find the product. At $11 for 5 lbs it truly is a great deal. Especially cause you won't use that much in the recipe. Okay, I am rambling. Here it is- 

CHALK PAINT RECIPE 

 2 Tablespoons calcium carbonate powder 

1 tablespoon warm water
MIX until dissolved 

Then ADD 1 cup latex paint of your choice. 

Mix mix mix and you are ready to go. 

See, I told you it was easy!!! I mixed it all together in an old tupperware with a lid and stored the extra in my fridge to use for future projects. I also used a tough bristle brush to get in all the little crevices. (ew, I hate that word.) I ended up giving the mirror two coats with drying time of 1 hour in between. The chalk paint does a great matte finish, which I love. 

Now, you could stop there and call it a day, but I was going for the distressed look so after all my hard work I took sandpaper to the project. Yes, I know. It was a tad tough to think about. But,  I wanted my piece to have some definition to it and not look super contemporary. The bloggers suggest to go rough up the places that would be worn originally by old age like the corners and the edges. But hey, honestly, theres no right way to distress your piece. 

I loved the finished product.

The last step (and totally optional) was to add a clear wax coat to the top to protect it. This was a bit scary because I had never used wax before, but I found this cheaper alternative on Amazon and i was very happy with the product. Dovers Chalk Paint Wax . Doesn't that just sound serene? Dovers wax. Anyways, you apply it with a tough brush making sure to only use a little enough to cover the piece in a satin and not sticky overlay. Kinda like using candle wax. After you leave it for 30 minutes and then buff with an old t-shirt. the wax should dry satiny and clear. So there you have it. Chalk paint in a nutshell. I also had some paint leftover so I painted my chalkboard to match. Its a little country bumpkin but I ain't mad at it.

Have you ever used chalk paint before? Got any favorite products? I'd love to hear them!